


The Care and Keeping of Hawkeye

by aglikethemetal



Series: Love is for Children [1]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Adoption, Clint Barton Needs a Hug, Clint Barton's Farm, Clintasha - Freeform, Dad!clint, Dead Phil Coulson, Domestic Avengers, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Family Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, Kate Bishop is Clint and Nat's Daughter, Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery, Mom!Natasha, Natasha Feels, Natasha Needs a Hug, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Protective Natasha Romanov, Set after The Avengers, baby!kate bishop, melinda may and natasha romanoff are besties
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-11
Updated: 2014-12-31
Packaged: 2018-02-25 00:20:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 9,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2601671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aglikethemetal/pseuds/aglikethemetal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the events of the Avengers, Natasha helps Clint recover from Loki's mind control. They take an extended vacation and domestic life beckons as a new challenge dawns: Parenting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Repair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thanks for looking at this.. It's the first fic I've posted. Several chapters are already written, so expect regular updates.  
> Special thanks to my wonderful Beta! You can find her on Tumblr (do it because shes awesome) at three-of-clubsandwich.  
> Enjoy! (I own nothing besides the plot, unfortunately)

When it was all over and the Avengers had all gone their separate ways, Natasha let Clint drive. Normally, deciding who would drive would entail a squabble of some sort to determine who was in a better condition. Currently, that would not be Clint. But Natasha knew that he needed to maintain some semblance of control, so she just got into the passenger’s side without a word. He sped away from the park and drove, with the sprawl of the destroyed city fading into the background. They sat in tense, yet comfortable silence for over an hour. Natasha barely breathed, not knowing what to say to begin moving forwards.

She glanced over at him; he seemed deep in thought. It was time to get him out of his head. No use dwelling in guilt over what he couldn’t change.

"You know that cars require fuel to operate, right?" Her prodding seemed to jolt him, and she saw him physically shake himself before getting a nonverbal response; she took it as an improvement.

"Clint we can't just drive around forever. Let's stop somewhere, refuel and form a plan." While she received no commitment to her idea, he did get off the freeway and turn back towards the city. The city lay in front of them now, the outskirts entirely unaffected by the invasion they had stopped just days earlier. It was difficult to believe everything that had happened now, like maybe it all had been a part of a bad drunken dream.

* * *

Later that day, they were sitting in a cheap motel room, curtains closed, door locked, and cheeseburger dinners in slightly warm wrappings sitting on the bed. Natasha watched her partner closely, noticing the way he picked at the food, picked at his hair, picked at his entire being. She wasn’t afraid of Loki’s brainwashing coming back, hadn’t been since Clint woke in the Helicarrier’s infirmary and looked at her with his grey-blue eyes, no longer the crystal-blue of the scepter. No, now she worried over losing him to something else entirely: himself. His own guilt, his dark thoughts, those would be the most likely to consume him. She was not going to let that happen.

“Clint, do you remember what you told me in Budapest?” He looked up sharply, his face showing that he knew Natasha was going to force him to move on, one way or another.

“That you were either the dumbest or smartest woman ever?” he half-joked. Good, she thought, this is progress.

“No Bartass, the part where you told me that we can never change what has happened. That whether it was our choice or not, there is only the future in our control now. It doesn’t matter how we were before, only how we are now and how we will be in the future,” She pleaded with him, knowing that this was the only way to help.

“Yeah, yeah, I remember. I can be pretty profound when I want,” He half smiled.

“Well, dummy, it’s time to take your own advice.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comments, I really appreciate any responses. I'm on tumblr at ag-likethemetal.


	2. News and other outlets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own only the general plot (otherwise we would have a black widow movie already!)

They had fallen asleep back to back on the bed, just like when they were on missions. The conversation from last night still present in both of their minds as exhaustion gripped them and pulled the release of sleep over them. While Clint seemed to be more open to the possibility of forgiveness, Natasha knew he would have a journey ahead of him. When she woke up, the familiar scent of coffee greeted her, as did the image of Clint perched on the end of the bed with a cup in his hand. He was sipping his coffee, fully caffeinated, sugared, and creamed for sure, and watched the news flicker on the crap TV, hazardously placed on the unstable desk. Commentary from people who were surely experts – as if experts on this sort of thing actually existed – came from the TV, as images of the invasion and current cleanup efforts were shown along with rallies and politicians.

Natasha tossed a pillow at him, not really aiming- just seeking his attention, and muttered, “You shouldn’t watch this crap, birdbrain. Not good for anyone’s mental health.”

He sighed. “I know Tash, but I need to see it.”

She got up and pushed the covers off, heading to the coffee pot. As she passed him, he quickly moved the remote out of her reach and changed the channel to another news station. She sighed, exasperated with him, but brought the pot over to pour him more. Returning the coffee and then sitting beside him, she curled her feet up onto the bed and leaned against him.

“Listen Clint as much as this motel rocks, it sucks so bad. We need to go back to base and get back to moving on. You know Fury will need us, especially now.” She stopped abruptly when his face froze. Something wasn’t right, he had put his guard back up. “What is it?”

“Natasha,” he looked away, “I can’t go back. Not now.”

She stilled. Of course, he’s not ready to face everyone. She got that. He needed time away: to heal, to find himself, to regain his confidence. And yes, S.H.I.E.L.D. probably was not the best way to do that. They would want endless psych exams, more training, and probably some solitude, from her experiences. These were maybe not the best things for Clint right now.

“Okay, I get it. But before we go on planning a rebel vacation, I need a shower.” She stood, placing a gentle peck on his temple, and crossed to her bag to pull out some clothes and head for a shower. They both needed some time to think.

* * *

When Natasha emerged from the shower, hair curling wildly from the steam, she had slipped into some jeans and a tank top – as well as the part of a devoted supporter. Whatever Clint needed, she would be there to help him; she was determined.

Then, she stepped out and saw Clint. He still had the news on, a laptop open in front of him and a familiar look on his face. He was about to do something, reckless but full of heart. Natasha steeled herself to support him.

“Tasha, I’m gonna adopt a baby.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always I appreciate those of you who make yourselves known, and those of you who prefer to silently stop by. I am on Tumblr at ag-likethemetal


	3. Insanity on all levels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the love this has been getting:) I will be updating more frequently now ( I know I have really short chapters!) Reminder that I am taking prompts for this story as well as any other pairings you would like. Disclaimer: I own only the plot (otherwise I would be directing this as a movie instead!)

“What the hell does that mean?” Years of being a professional spy could not have prepared her for this sort of insanity. _What,_ she thought, _is he even thinking?_ He looked at her with his puppy-dog eyes and seemed to beg her to understand.

“There was a little baby, I found her trapped in a car seat and got her out, took her to the police. I was lookin’ her up now, ‘cause the news was saying that a couple kids were still unclaimed.” He explained.

“Clint, you can’t just go take a kid because no one else has taken her yet. Her parents are probably just in the hospital or something.” She desperately tried not to crush his hopes, but this was beyond ridiculous.

“She doesn’t have anyone, Tasha. I looked her up; her name is Katherine Bishop, and she’s five months old. Parents were among the casualties, no other relatives. Five months old Tasha.” He was pleading with her now.

“Clint, you can’t just adopt a kid. You’re a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, a professional spy. Children need a stable family to look after them, people who will always be there. How are you supposed to do that?” She shook her head. Then she looked at him and saw it, saw his real decision. “You’re leaving S.H.I.E.L.D. aren’t you?”

He looked at his hands. He took deep breath to steel himself; he looked like he was preparing for the battle of his life, even though he was just voicing his thoughts to his long-time partner.

“Natasha, I can _not_ go back. I have done my time, changed the world. But now, I need to work for myself. Look at me; I have no one left anymore. Phil, he’s gone. He can’t look out for me now. You know, we had been talking about getting me out of the field, slowly starting to ease me out so I could get a life outside S.H.I.E.L.D. I am ready to move on, and what better way to help clean up my past than by raising a precious kid who has no one because of something I played a part in?” He seemed close to tears now, but also so certain of the propriety of his decision.

Natasha turned away. She couldn’t let him leave S.H.I.E.L.D. – leave her. But, she understood why he felt that was what he had to do. And, she had promised herself to be there to support him. There was no way her partner wasn’t still there; he just needed to pull back a bit, become more balanced in his life. So maybe this was a little misguided; it was entirely Clint from its motivation to its conception.

While she harboured serious doubts and concerns, he had none left. Clint had made up his mind; there was only one thing she could do when it came to Clint’s ideas.  She turned back to face him.

“You have entirely lost it. But I guess I have too. Oy vey – I can’t believe I’m saying this. Where do we find the new little Barton?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there we go! thanks for any kudos/comments/prompts/hits. Im on tumblr at (who knew) ag-likethemetal.


	4. The Acquisition of Children

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now the fluff begins! Im taking prompts for fluffy scenes you would like to see in the comments or on my tumblr (ag-likethemetal). Thanks to my lovely beta and her assistant editor cat. (I own only the plot, or Marvel would have more fluffy movies!)

 

Here she was, playing another part, this time with Clint playing alongside her. With her hacking skills they had created their new identities: Talia Bishop and Clint Bishop, long lost relatives of Katherine’s father. Cousins, who upon seeing the news report of a baby Bishop, came to raise their new found family member as their own. They had gathered their few belongings and checked out of the motel, driving further into the city centre. Before going to the centre, they made a quick stop. Diapers, a car seat, formula, a blanket, and a little stuffed bird were loaded into the black car. Natasha reminded Clint that these would only keep them for a little while; there would be more purchases shortly. She questioned his plans for housing, but had gotten a smile that hid secrets and a quick “I got a place.”

They had parked close, ready to make a quick getaway. Natasha turned to Clint before getting out. “Are you sure about this? There's no going back once we walk into that building.”

“There never is an opportunity to go back. This is right.” He hopped out of the car, coming to join her as she stepped out. He grabbed her hand, and the two of them quickly blending into their roles as a married couple.They looked at each other, each sharing a nervous smile. Clint opened the door and they walked inside, approaching the desk.

The lady behind the counter – mid-forties, bleached blonde hair with brown roots showing, lipstick on her left front tooth, minimal threat level Natasha analyzed – turned towards them at the sound of the bell ringing on the door. “Hello how can I assist you today?”

“Hello, my name is Clint Bishop and this is my wife, Talia,” Clint began. “We saw on the news that a cousin of ours is here. As far as we know, we are her only family left and we would like to take her home with us,” He lied, fluently. Natasha smiled up at the lady – a sad and hopeful smile.

“Oh well, I’ll need to see some ID, as well as confirm that she has no other relations, but I’m sure once that all checks out you can take her home. What was her name?" The woman’s kind smile satisfied Natasha; they had all of the documents – falsified, of course – with them.

“Katherine Bishop.”

 

*                                           *                                                    *

 

Here they sat, hands clasped together, exchanging smiles full of anticipation.It seemed this was no longer an act for Clint; Natasha would never admit to anyone, even herself, that it wasn’t for her either. Their papers had checked out and now they were awaiting the arrival of their – _his_ –Natasha quickly corrected, new daughter. And then there she was, a little bundle in a purple blanket, black hair covering her head, being gently placed into Clint’s outstretched arms.

The smile he directed at the baby girl made Natasha brighten. She knew that he had been right; this was the best thing for him. The little girl looked pretty content, blinking her brown eyes and gurgling at her new daddy. Her small features molded into a smile, little peals of laughter filling the room. Natasha looked down at the bundle, smiling despite herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO there! I love comments and prompts and thanks for reading.


	5. The wonders of shopping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let the fluff begin! Any suggestions ro prompts for fluff would be appreciated in the comments or tumblr inbox (ag-likethemetal) Thanks to my Beta and assistant editor cat for their lovely skills and encouragements. (I own only general plot or black widow would have more merchandise options!)

 

They had almost run to the door after having her placed in their arms, but soon enough they were back at the car and struggling to put a fussy baby in a car seat – something neither of them had ever had training for. Clint had confidently put her in the brand new car seat, but now he was starting to look nervous as he cursed the number of straps and belts and muttered about how “this thing should have come with a damn manual”. Using her Black Widow senses, Natasha saw an impending meltdown from her partner, one that would rival any toddlers’. She reached over, pushing him out of the way and calmly took stock of the situation, before efficiently buckling up the various harnesses. Once finished, she turned to face Clint, eyebrows raised and a smirk on her face.

“Don’t start with me,” He grumbled as he walked around to the driver’s seat.

Once on the road, Clint directed them out of the city and into the suburbs.

 “Where exactly are we going?” Natasha queried.

“There,” He responded as they pulled into the parking lot of none other than Walmart.

Inside the store, they struggled to put an unhappy baby into the shopping cart’s child spot, before pushing into the aisles of merchandise. They headed down towards the baby section, stopping to grab various items as needed. Clint looked overwhelmed by the amount of things being placed in the cart, but Natasha told him, “This is only the beginning of eighteen years of material possessions.”

How Natasha found herself alone with Katherine beside the jewelry counter, she didn’t exactly know. She was going through the cart, trying to remember all the things on the list of child care items she had looked at hours before. Looking back to Katherine, she noticed the young girl had her fingers on a necklace and was currently prying it from the display.

“No, don’t play with that. It’s not a toy.” Natasha tried to get her to release it, but was beaten to it by Clint’s appearance.

“What are we buying Katie?” He hummed to the baby as he wrestled the necklace from her tiny grip.

“Katie?”

“Yeah, I thought she needed a nickname. Katherine is too stuffy.” He finally got the necklace and proceeded to laugh. “Looks like we have an archer after all,” He said to Natasha’s confused look as he opened his palm to show her a delicate silver arrow necklace. She grinned in response, rolling her eyes at the duo.

They finished their shopping and headed to the checkout, Clint pulling out a personal credit card that Natasha knew had another alias attached. It didn’t escape her notice when Clint placed the necklace on the conveyor belt. She shot him a look and he shrugged.

“It’s for you; a reminder of the day Katie joined us.” He looked away quickly. Once everything was paid for, Natasha grabbed the necklace from the bag and clasped it around her neck, vowing to leave it there as long as possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So theres the first fluff. Its my lovely idea of the origin of the arrow necklace Natasha wears in CA:TWS. Kudos and comment will be loved dearly.


	6. The First Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the lovely suggestions! Keep them coming... I've incorporated many of my ideas with those suggested.Once again thanking my beta when I have a rush editing job for her (she rocks). I hope you enjoy! (I own only plot or we would have a very different mcu)

Returning to the parked car, Clint loaded their purchases into the trunk, leaving Natasha to buckle up the baby again.Natasha pulled Katie from the shopping cart, carefully manoeuvering the girl so as not to get her legs caught in the cart. Natasha placed her in one arm, opening the car door with the other and promptly handled Katie into her car seat. Making fast work of the buckles and straps, Natasha shut the door and turned back to Clint as he got back from returning the cart.

“Now what, Barton?”

“Well, it’s gonna take a couple days of travelling to get to the place, so we should probably just go find a place to sleep for tonight.”

Nodding her consent, she hopped into the passenger side, Clint sliding into the driver’s side a couple seconds later. He pulled out of the parking lot and headed back onto the road. In the back of the car Katie was gurgling and clapping her hands together. Natasha turned to observe her antics, hiding the smile that was threatening to appear.

 

*                                                    *                                                    *

 

The hotel room was small, with just the basics furniture-wise. The crib Natasha had requested was wedged into the corner between the bed and the wall that partitioned off the bathroom. The TV was on some reality show and the curtains closed against anyone passing by. All this she noted subconsciously while she listened to a full scale tantrum coming from the bundle in her partner’s arms. Katherine was _not_ happy and she let both of them know it. Clint tried to soothe her, had already changed the diaper – that had been fun to laugh at, from across the room of course. His frustration was clear as he frowned deeply, rocking the baby in his (really nice) arms. As he turned to Natasha to plead for help, she turned to the small stash of baby things they had brought into the hotel for the night. Picking up a bottle, she walked to the little kitchenette, got out some milk and warmed it up.After testing the warmth, she screwed the top back on and went back to him. She was just about to give him the bottle when he thrust a red-faced, crying Kate into her arms.

“Please, Nat.” He viciously ran a hand through his hair and lumbered to the bathroom, the door closing behind him as he ran away from the situation.

“Coward!” she called after him. She turned back to the little girl and shifted her hold to bring the bottle down to Kate’s lips. The baby latched on and Natasha smiled in victory as the screams and tears dissipated. She settled herself on the bed and gazed at the infant in her arms. Normally her arms were wrapped around throats or around the handle of a gun. It was odd to hold such a fragile thing in them now. Katie had big, brown eyes and wisps of black hair. She weighed a good 15 pounds and provided a pleasant warmth in Natasha’s arms.With the bottle finished now, Natasha lifted the baby and stroked her back, waiting for the trapped air to escape. Clint opened the bathroom door and leaned against it, laughing at the glare Natasha sent him.

Feeding time done, Natasha looked to find a very drowsy Kate. She slowly rocked her arms and was rewarded with deep, sleep-filled breaths. Natasha carried her to the crib and set her down, pulling a blanket up to the little girl’s chest. She turned back to find Clint lying on the bed beside the crib, joy written on his face. He reached out to hold her hand, but she smacked him away, turning to grab her pajamas and get ready for bed.

Returning back to a sleeping Clint and baby, she checked the locks, transferred her weapons from her person to her bedside, crawled into bed and reached to flick the lights off. Darkness enfolded her and she fell asleep to the soft, comforting sounds of their breathing.

 

*                                                    *                                                    *

 

Light was behind her closed eyes as consciousness returned to her,but before making any movements, she analyzed her surroundings. The bed was empty of her partner, though his warmth remained. She could hear him walking around the hotel room and she could hear him doing something else – singing. It had been a while since she had heard his voice. They had been on separate missions for a long time now, only passing each other in the hallway every couple of weeks. The last time he had sung, he had been incredibly drunk, hanging out with her after the fallout from some mission of his. Now though, his voice carried the song beautifully. Natasha sat up to observe.

Katie was in his arms, silent heartbreaking tears sliding down her face, hands clutching the blanket that was wrapped around her. He rocked her softly, holding her close to him. Natasha didn’t quite recognize the song, though she did note that it was entirely his sort of music. As she watched, Katie’s fists relaxed, her tears stopped flowing and she closed her eyes. Even when she fell asleep again, Clint continued his routine until the song ended. She watched as he reverently laid his girl in the crib and planted a soft kiss on her temple.

“What song was that?”

“Nothing, just some song. I thought she might like it.” He turned back to the bed, flipping off the light and sliding in next to her again. “Better get some sleep, Tash. It’s gonna be a long journey.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Clint sings is Billy Joel's Empire State of Mind.. Jeremy Renner (who plays Clint in MCU) sang this with Jimmy Fallon so go watch it! Please leave comments and suggestions for the future here or in my tumblr inbox (ag-likethemetal).


	7. On the Road Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So now I have fluff planned until moving on with the story arc (I promise there is a plan!) Thanks for the lovely comments, I am always willing to write for any prompts. I am working on some other stories but promise to remain faithful to this one! (Once again thanks to my lovely beta and I own nothing or I would be rich)

When morning came, they fed and changed Katie, packed up their meager belongings and hit the road again. Katie gurgled in the back seat, kicking her feet in the car seat and gazing around her. A quick stop in a drive-through provided the adults with a greasy breakfast, before they hit the highway and put more distance between themselves and the city. The radio was tuned to Clint’s choice, some country music song crooning about some guy and his tractor. A smile played at the edges of his lips as the tension rolled out of his shoulders. It had been a long time since Natasha had seen him look this relaxed.

Katie’s babbling evolved into cries and Natasha sharply turned to check on her. The girl was in her car seat, face quickly morphing into the red-face scream-monster from the night before. Analyzing the area for the trigger, Natasha spied the little brown bear that Clint had placed in her lap this morning now located on the floor. She spun in her seat, unbuckling quickly and reaching for the bear. She placed it back in Katie’s lap. The little girl clasped the toy tightly and turned to look at Natasha. Her brown eyes stared at Natasha, full of innocence and faith in the woman. A smile spread across Katie’s pink lips. Katie looked at her as a saviour, as someone who was a large part of her tiny world. Natasha found herself turning away, too much trust misplaced in her. She was not able to face it right now; she didn’t deserve it – _not yet_.          

 

         *                                                             *                                                                      *

 

Natasha turned her gaze to Clint after checking that Katie was sleeping again. They had made a quick stop for lunch at a gas station. Hot dogs, chips and pop had been consumed for lunch, and Clint got even more experience with changing diapers. The little girl was showing a preference for having Natasha feed her, refusing the bottle Clint tried to offer her. Nat had fed her, burped her and quickly rocked her to sleep. She had gently placed Kate into the car seat. Finding Clint observing her, she shut the door as quietly as possible and turned to face him.

“What are you waiting for? Let’s get moving before someone recognizes us!” She stalked away from him, jumping into the car and settling into a nap for herself.

Now that she had awakened and made sure the others were safe, she wondered where on Earth Clint was taking them. He had yet to elaborate more on his plans, further than getting away from the state of New York. They had already been driving for hours due west and had nearly crossed the entire state of Philadelphia. She had observed no clues as to their destination, severely doubting his plan at this point.

“Care to share your plan, birdbrain?” She was starting to get nervous; maybe he wasn’t as sane as he seemed.

“Nope; it’s gonna be a surprise.” He smiled at her, enjoying the torment he was putting her through.

“Well, mind letting me know how much longer we are going to be driving? Because it is getting late, I am hungry, and the baby is starting to smell like a diaper change.” Annoyed, she reminded him of some other priorities – like being a father.

“Okay, we can stop for today, but we have a few hours more to drive tomorrow before we get home.” He conceded to a rest, finally.

“Fine, but you have to deal with the kid’s diaper.”

 

*                                                          *                                                                      *

 

Midafternoon the next day came and they were still on the road, driving in the middle of Bumfuck, Iowa. So maybe that’s not what it was actually called, but as far as Natasha cared it was. She was extremely annoyed, despite Clint’s assurances that they were ‘almost there’. It seemed that Katie felt the same wayas neither of them were speaking to the thick-headed male. As her silent treatment approached the same level as the silence of the dead, they passed a sign welcoming drivers into the county: “Welcome to Clinton County, Iowa. Population: 48,420”

“Seriously? Seriously!? You seriously live in Clinton, Clinton?”

 He laughed at her outburst, finally ending the silence in the car. _Damn! He wins this round._

“Yup, why not?” His grin lit up his face.

“You are entirely unbelievable, Bartass.”

“Just wait till you see it, I bet you’re gonna love it!” he stated excitedly.

She didn’t take the bait, waiting instead, knowing they were close.

About 30 minutes later, they were passing a sign that showed they were entering Center Township. Clint started fidgeting more. It was almost time. He pulled onto a dirt road, passing two cozy looking farmhouses, before pulling up to another one. Parking the car, he walked up to the gate, producing a key from his coat, and opened the rusty padlock. Natasha turned to check on a quiet Katie, who was silently sucking a soother. As Clint approached the car again, she finally viewed the sign hanging above the gate.

“Barton’s farm? You have a farm?!”

He only smirked before putting the car into drive and proceeding along the driveway. Natasha marvelled at the property; trees and bushesalong the fence line obscured its view from any neighbours. A tiny bungalow was nestled in the lower left hand corner of the property. A barn was located close by with a fenced in area beside it; the remaining right half of the property was entirely devoted to what looked like stalks of corn. They stopped in front of the house: a square of brown and red bricks. Clint jumped out and went around to retrieve Kate while Natasha stared in awe; this was an incredibly private place that Clint was allowing her into. Not even his various safe houses around the world seemed as sacred as this little farm in Iowa. She finally stepped out of the car and turned to find Clint grinning at her, a grumpy looking Katie in his arms.

“Welcome home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yes... the Farm. Im on tumblr at ag-likethemetal


	8. Settling In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had some issues writing this chapter - but after a short break - it is back! Holidays and exams are upon us so expect less frequent updates.  
> Thanks to my lovely and witty beta with my favourite edits involving lines like: "My fav rooms are ones that have 2 walls". Enjoy! (I own only the general plot)

Since it was only the afternoon when they arrived at the farm, there was plenty of time to settle. First order of business was for Natasha to case the house, memorize its layout and exit points, as well as to see the space her partner had kept to himself for so long. It was strange for her, seeing this homely yet barren place that Clint had hidden from everyone. And now he had brought her here and she wasn’t entirely sure what that meant. The house was sparsely furnished as one might expect of a bachelor's getaway. The creamy white of the walls welcomed her inside, a small bench placed just in the entrance way, a closet opposite it. A bathroom led just off the hallway, the room an ugly yellow and the towels an mismatched set with no discernable attempt to match colours between them. The kitchen was white and clean, none of the usual dishes left in the sink like Natasha was used to from Clint’s other apartments. There were a couple barstools at the counter, a comfy looking couch and armchair placed in the living room in front of the little TV. A table, small and grey, obviously a fold out from some thrift store, stood in the little dining room off of the kitchen. Two mismatched chairs sat on either side of the table in front of the window. She crossed the room, peering out and seeing a make shift target range set up. _Typical._

Further down the hall lay the staircase upwards, across lay the door out to the field. She went up the stairs. Three doors greeted her on the upper level and she ducked into the leftmost one. Inside was a pile of crap. Just weird belongings: bloody shirts, broken arrows, ropes, what looked like gardening items, and of course some bows and other weapons. No furniture was in the room. Natasha exited and peeked into the middle door to find a second, full bathroom with just as much lack of colour coordination as the rest of the house. The final door opened into the bedroom. A bed dominated the room, soft brown sheets covering it. There was a wardrobe against the right wall, the wall opposite holding all sorts of archery equipment. To the left of the door sat a green dog bed. _Hmm._

As Natasha started back in the hallway, she noticed there were no pictures or paint colouring the walls. The floors were an old dirty brown carpet in the bedrooms, a white and cream linoleum in the kitchen and bathrooms, and a tan hardwood in the remaining rooms. While she had found several (not really) hiding spots, there was a lack of quantity in his arsenal here compared to other spaces of Clint’s. It really was a safe haven for him.

She stepped out towards the car, locating Clint and Kate over by a small garden with untamed flowers. He was kneeling down, holding Kate in arm’s reach of a purple tulip, her fingers stretched out towards it. Natasha wandered to the car and began pulling various bags and items from the trunk. Clint approached as well, taking the baby carrier from the back, strapping Kate in and grabbing his duffel bag in the other hand. Together, they crossed back to the house and entered.

The two of them made quick work of unpacking, with Natasha bringing everything inside and Clint distributing things about the house. She checked the car one more time, shut the trunk and strolled back to the house. Clint was entertaining Kate in the kitchen, a pot of water on the stove and soon to be cooked pasta on the countertop. When Natasha entered, he looked up and smiled at her.

“Well, what do you think?” he queried hesitantly, seeking her approval for this place.

“Barton’s farm: Could you be a little more obvious?”

“Would you believe that it’s just some sign I found in a little antique shop? My neighbours only know me as Clint. They are actually a really cute old couple, look after the place for me when I’m gone. Really Tasha, this place is so far from anybody’s radar, and it is going to stay that way.” He gave her a determined look, then looked back to the now boiling water. “You wanna look after supper? – you’re better at this stuff anyways – I’ll get started on making up Katie’s room.”

He exited quickly, leaving Natasha alone with Kate staring at her from the highchair in the corner. She sighed, dumped a bunch of noodles into the pot and gave it a stir. Turning back to face the munchkin, she muttered, “ваш папа с ума, птичка.” (your dad is crazy, little bird). Kate just gurgled back at her.  Several minutes later, Natasha was hollering at Clint. As she pulled Kate over to the table and dished up a plate for herself, the little girl having already been fed, he zoomed into the room and dug in. They ate in relative silence, only Kate’s noises and Clint’s answering “Yes I agree, Katie” to break it. After the meal was concluded, they companionably cleaned the room. Natasha washing dishes, Clint putting away food, Kate supervising. As Natasha wiped down the counters, Clint turned towards the back door. “I’ll be right back, just gotta go talk to the neighbours for a bit.” And he was out the door.

Natasha picked Kate up out of her chair, wandering over to the couch and settling into it. She turned on the TV to noncommittally flip through whatever was on. Hearing footsteps outside, she ignored them – to begin with. There were more noises however: a jingling bell, panting and more than one pair of feet outside. Rising from the couch, tucking Katie into her side, she turned to face whatever Clint had to surprise her next. The door came open and a ball of golden fur pushed eagerly into the house, Clint pulling on a frayed red leash to slow its progress. Kate stretched out towards the dog, squealing happily Natasha brought her closer to Clint and the dog. She raised one eyebrow in a graceful arch to gaze at him.

 “Natasha, Katherine, meet Lucky.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ta-Da! Comments, prompts and suggestions are welcomed to my party. (on tumblr at ag-likethemetal)


	9. Around Town

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ta-da. I managed to find time and inspiration (so there is another update ready for later in the week). Google translate tells me how my Russian works, so sorry for any errors! We get some Natasha feels and some Mama and Katie time...

She was staring motionlessly into the darkness of the room. The sounds of the three sleeping beings that also occupied the small dark roomlent her a strange mix of familiarity and foreignness. It had been years since she was surrounded by so many during a night – since the Red Room to be precise. Her current situation, however, couldn’t be more opposite from youth. Clint’s sleeping form, spread across the bed with his arm haphazardly resting on her thigh, was a cozy reminder that she was safe. His snores in her ear made her feel at ease, and she was accustomed to Kate’s quiet exhales by now. Lucky’s sleeping figure in the doggy bed across the room added to her sense of ease, his position by the door symbolizing his role as a guardian. She smirked at the thought, knowing that the deadly assassins currently occupying the bed needed no help from the fuzzy lab, but still she appreciated the idea of the dog’s extra senses to help alert them to anything amiss.

Natasha took the time to sort through all the various thoughts and emotions that she had locked down on. She started opening the metaphorical filing cabinets in her mind, the ones she had been slamming closed since getting the call that Clint was compromised. The shock, confusion, her resolve to get him back even if she had to return to the depths of hell, all of it flooded through her. Her pride in playing the trickster god and her hatred of him. Doubts that had crept in around the time of the Captain’s discovery of Phase II plans for the Tesseract, fear in facing the Hulk; fear not for herself – never fear for herself – but for the others, of not being able to save Clint. Her determination when facing down Clint, knocking him out. She remembered, and still felt, the relief in seeing him come back to himself. His words marking her a changed person as they waded into war against aliens. Their banter about Budapest.

And from the locked cabinet came adebilitating emotion: grief. Phil, the man who had helped her change and had been there to support her for the last several years, dead. Her analytical side told her that it was a horrible yet necessary sacrifice, the catalyst to the assembling of the Avengersit told her that Clint felt griefstronger than she did, that she herself had little claim to mourning Coulson in Clint’s presence. Yet, the tears prickled her eyes. They didn’t dare fall from her lashes, but Natasha’s body began to heave in the type of heartbreaking sob never shown in movies because of the raw ugliness of the emotion revealed through the gesture. She tried to hide it, to curl into herself, away from him and deal with it alone. Her partner had other plans.

She knew that he had no idea what was wrong. Watched him do a reflexive check for a stimulus, his eyes checking her over for injuries, saw when he registered that the injury was not physical. He pulled her arms away from the grip they had around her, his palms moving her clenched hands to wrap around him instead. As he held her, she came to terms with the changes, changes to the world, to S.H.I.E.L.D., and to their partnership. This was how she fell asleep, curled up with Clint in the quiet serenity.

 

*                                                       *                                                   *

 

The next morning, after breakfast, Clint had disappeared back upstairs to his task of transforming his junk room into Kate’s bedroom, but not before suggesting the two girls go into town. So Nat followed his advice and loaded Kate into her carrier and out to the car after mentally mapping out the multiple ways to and from the town. It was only twenty minutes away, ten on gravel roads and ten on the highway.

Comprised of a few streets of retail stores, a few schools, one gas station and three churches, the town was definitely not something S.H.I.E.L.D. would bother checking too thoroughly when hunting for its missing agents. Natasha pulled into a parking stall beside the grocer’s and went around to get Katie out. She retrieved a cart, plonkedthe little girl down in it and proceeded into the store.

A typical small town grocery store greeted them inside. Natasha spent a while shopping, spending the most time in the baby aisle. Katie had grabbed some baby rattle toy from the shelf and was busy entertaining herself with it. Natasha picked up a couple items, placed them in the cart and proceeded along. Soon it was time to checkout – and get all the gossip of the town.

A lady in her mid-thirties stood behind the cashier, a name tag reading _Janet_ pinned to her apron, her gaze almost predatorily sweeping over Natasha and Kate. She had bland brown hair tied back in a low ponytail and an aura of confidence about her. Natasha catalogued her as the popular girl who married her high school sweetheart and never left the small town that made up her whole world; she likely had a weak marriage, her husband having an affair with his secretary at his undoubtedly important job, with one kid in elementary school. This would be the town gossip who would talk badly about you behind your back. This woman would crave the presence of a newcomer like Natasha. Natasha felt a kind smile spread across her face as she settled into a nonthreatening role.

“You must be new to town. Welcome! Where are you staying?” Janet began, her eagerness for new information almost visible.

“Yes, we just arrived. We live out of town near the junction.” Natasha allowed that much, wanting to know what this woman could tell her about Clint’s reputation.

“Near Barton’s Farm?” At Nat’s nod, the woman continued.

 “Have you met Clint, the owner? He’s not around often, you know some sort of contract work, but whenever he’s in town everybody takes note. That man is one attractive fellow, kind of odd though. Keeps to himself, never shows interest in any of the ladies here, but no one knows if he’s single.”

Natasha almost laughed at the spill of information and the obvious interest in the mysterious figure of Clint. She emptied the cart onto the conveyor belt and bent over Kate to pull the candy bars away from her pinchers. She took the moment to reward Janet for the Intel with some of her own.

“I do know Clint, we actually just arrived home to the farm yesterday. I had to come into town to pick up some supplies for the dog and the baby, he’s just finishing up the chore list.” She smiled widely at the woman’s shock.

“Oh! You must be his wife then, and this must be your daughter. She’s so precious! How old is she?” Janet seemed to backtrack, obviously attempting to mend any bad impressions.

Natasha chuckled and murmured to Katie, “Это весело , птичка . Все будут завидовать нам!” (This is fun, little bird. Everyone will be jealous of us!) before turning back to say, “Five months. How much is it again?” Janet hurriedly finished checking Natasha out, waving goodbye. Natasha was sure, as she returned to the car and loaded the groceries inside, that Janet was busy calling her friends to spread the news of the mysterious Clint’s new wife and daughter strutting around town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is the beginning of some angst coming soon!!! Please leave comments and prompt for me below or at my tumblr inbox (ag-likethemetal). Thanks for reading and putting up with my tardiness.


	10. Calling the Cavalry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone has been having happy holidays (whatever you celebrate or not). My goal is to finish writing this fic by the end of break, and hopefully have enough to post to get me through my exams and semester finishing in January. Please enjoy as I bring an aspect of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. into this (which I also do not own sadly)

When she pulled up to the farm house, she was smiling. Lucky was outside, and came running towards her as she stepped out of the car. She knelt down to pat him before retrieving Katie out of the back seat and beginning to bring their purchases in to the house. Hearing Clint upstairs, she put away the perishable items and hauled Katie into her arms before heading up to the second level. Lucky’s collar jingled behind her as he followed them up. The further up she climbed, the more banging and curses she could hear from the room that had previously been a dump. Pushing open the door, Natasha was greeted with a sight that would bring a weaker woman to her knees from unbridled laughter. As it was, she had to place a hand out to the doorjamb.

Clint had made progress, all the junk cleared away. The pieces to what should be a crib were scattered around him where he sat on the floor, a hammer and nails laying to his left. What he had managed to put together in no way resembled any part of functional items, much less a bed for a small child. He looked frustrated as he scratched his head and leafed through the thick set of instructions. He had glanced up at her laugh, a question on his face.

“I can only imagine what Fury would say if he saw Hawkeye puzzled by a simple furniture building task.” she laughed joyfully.

“He would be have set the stupid thing on fire if he were building it.” Clint muttered in return as he patted Lucky on the back.

“We’ll leave you to it then.” And with that she swayed out of the room with Katie in her grasp.

 

*                                                       *                                                   *

 

Natasha stared down the person seated across from her. “вы знаете,” (you know) she began, “вы не выиграете” (you will not win). “Он собирается вернуться к его чувствам в конечном итоге и вернуться к работе. Знаю, дорогая, что ты милый, но вы только собираетесь бытьотвлечение на стороне. Это хорошо со мной, но только так мы понимаем друг друга: он по-прежнемуагент был прежде. (He is going to come back to his senses eventually and go back to work. I know, sweetheart, that you are cute, but you are just going to be a distraction for the side. That’s fine with me, but just so we understand each other: he is still the agent he was before).” 

Katie just smiled at her, making her little baby noises. Nat knew that speaking to the girl in Russian was really just so Clint would have limited understanding of her conversation, but she meant the words she spoke. The last few weeks here had been lovely, a domestic escape that people like her had long ago given up on. The summer had come upon them as June approached and they were not as hesitant to be out in public as more time and space was added between them and the Battle of New York. The trio basked in the sunlight, having fun on the farm; experimenting in the garden, playing in the corn field, rebuilding the barn, and chasing Lucky around the property made for some sweet days of luxurious relaxation. But Natasha was beginning to come back to her senses and she knew that it was almost time to go back to S.H.I.E.L.D. before they came looking.

She _wanted_ to go back, sure that most of the backlash from the Chitauri and Loki had been dealt with, or was at least under control. Fury would expect Strike Team Delta’s return soon. People like them didn’t get a leave of absence – unless they were compromised – and even then it would never be this long. Natasha had not mentioned it to Clint, not yet at least. Sure, Kate would be a bit of an obstacle to work around, but Natasha was confident that some arrangement would allow for their continued interaction. There was no way Clint would not take her with him; if Nat was being honest, there was no way _she_ would leave Kate behind.

While Natasha was not quite ready to broach the subject with her partner yet, she was ready to get back in the loop. A call to her friend would help clear up any lingering doubts and steel her resolve. So later that day while Clint was inside feeding Kate and making supper, Natasha went on a walk with Lucky, her phone tucked into her shorts. When they reached the corner of the lot placed far enough away from the house, she pulled it out and set to cluttering the information to obstruct anyone from determining her location. _You can never be too careful._ She dialed the number holding the phone up to her ear. 

“Agent May.” Melinda’s cautious greeting came over the speakers.

“Well hello to you too Mel.” She could hear May as she went to a more private location with less background noise.

“Nat? Where have you been? Are you okay?” The cavalry’s voice immediately took on what Nat liked to call the I’m-slightly-worried-about-you-but-I-know-you-can-take-care-of-yourself-so-I-am-not-as-worried voice.

“I’m with Barton. No issues, just needed time after…everything. I’m calling to get the scoop on our lovely organization.”

Melinda laughed on the other end. “Maria is pissed that both of you took off. Fury is getting antsy, he wants his precious agents back home to roost. Also Captain America has returned and is leading a team now.”

“Well, that’s nice if not entirely predictable. What about the rest of the Avengers?”

“Stark has withdrawn, as much as Stark can withdraw, to Malibu. Rumor has it that Banner is working for him or at least living in one of his hidey houses.”

“Interesting. Thanks for the intel Mel.”

“Of course Nat. Can we expect you back soon?”

“I’m not sure yet. We’ll see.”

“Say hi to Barton for me.”

“Will do.”

With that concluded, Natasha shut down the phone, whistled to Lucky and headed back to the house. May’s words had confirmed her own beliefs. It wouldn’t be long before S.H.I.E.L.D. started coming for them. It was time to shake Clint and bring him back. The real world needed Black Widow and Hawkeye. It didn’t matter that Clint and Natasha would love to stay in this utopia with Kate. She reached the back step and pushed open the door. Lucky shot inside, with Nat following. Clint was just straightening from petting Lucky when she came into the kitchen, a smile on his face. It slowly faded as she looked at him.

“Clint, we need to talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On Melinda May's phone in AOS episode 2x04, "Nat" appears in recent calls, so naturally they must be besties. Comments, conversations, and critiques are welcomed!


	11. Cards on the Table

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my snarky beta who makes me feel so silly about my mistakes:) See you all in the new year!

Their relationship had always been undefined. Back at S.H.I.E.L.D. there had always been rumours, bets about the two star agents. They walked the halls, hushed conversations following them. Whether they were lovers, foes, spouses or just best friends; it was always a hot topic, especially for new recruits or when they occupied different locations. Agents who accompanied them on missions, whether as individual agents or as a pair, would come back and find themselves to be a popular person. There were a few people who saw the reality of their relationship, but those people were few in number. Hawkeye and the Black Widow were always a failsafe topic for the elevator, the cafeteria, and even meetings. Everyone wanted some sort of idea of the bond between two of SHIELD’s most successful agents. Natasha had no simple answer for anyone regarding her relationship with Clint. They had always been close, ever since he brought her in; they understood each other – sometimes better than they understood themselves. Their partnership was based on their mutual trust in the other when they could trust no one else.  

Of course she loved him; he loved her too. But love is not an emotion that benefits people in their positions. What she told Loki was correct: Love is for children. Natasha would never let anything or anyone become a weakness for her, never allow things to be used against her. Then again, Loki had seen her one weakness: Clint. Natasha tried to keep everything to herself, but he was always there, to tear down her walls or sometimes just to be present while she dealt with her demons. In the time before New York, she would lie to herself when it came to him. But then she had received the call from Coulson and her lies had started to crumble until she was standing, facing her darkest truth: Clint Barton was _hers._ They had an intimate relationship, physically and emotionally. Labels had never fully applied to them,probably no label would fully explain the complexity that was Clint and Natasha. Now they had Kate to further obscure the nature of their relationship.

As Natasha stood facing him in the kitchen after uttering the four words – we need to talk - that strike fear immediately into anyone who hears them, she recognized that they had not been clear with each other since arriving at the farm. Her mind was crystal clear thatthey had to go back to work, and soon. She knew S.H.I.E.L.D. would never just let them go. People like them didn’t just leave; they were retired, promoted, or carried out in a box. While this was plain to her, she had no clue what Clint had planned for their future.

Perhaps it was time to have a conversation, to gather some idea as to where his thoughts were. And so she motioned him towards the table and sat across from him. He reached to Katie, seated in her highchair, and pulled her into his lap. Considering them for a moment, Natasha took a steadying breath, leaned in a little closer and began.

“Clint, we’ve been here for a couple of weeks. I need to know what your game plan is.”

He studiously avoided looking at her, occupying himself with the baby in his arms. A few moments went by where Natasha thought she would have to repeat herself before he spoke.

“I’ve got enough cash saved up to last us a long time. I can always pick up some side jobif we need. The school here is good, although I have other places that we can go to if we need a change of scenery. There’s minimum activity here that would drag in any organizations. Lots of the people here already accept me and my new ‘wife and daughter’.” He glanced up at that part, a mischievous look on his face. “Some of them wonder why you don’t have a ring.”

She was not prepared to deal with his teasing following his first words. “What about S.H.I.E.L.D.?”

His face clouded over. “S.H.I.E.L.D. can shove it.”

 

*                                                       *                                                   *

 

In the quiet of the night she deliberated. Now was a bad time to bring up their return to work. She could wait. His stubbornness would crumble and he would find himself bored and stir crazy eventually, it was all a question of how long. Perhaps at the start of August she would reassess the situation. He just needed more time.

Satisfied with her decision, she closed her eyes to return to the release of sleep but something caught her attention. In the room down the hall, Katie was making little whimpering noises. They were odd, not a fully-fledged cry but instead a release of some emotion.Natasha was on her feet in one fluid motion, tucking a gun from her nightstand into the waistband of her pants. She exited the room silently and took the few steps down the carpeted hall. Cautiously pushing the door in, she found Kate in her crib. Her face was scrunched up and red, tears flowing freely. Natasha reached in, feeling her warm forehead and decided the girl was sick. She would have to send Clint to town to get medicine in the morning. For now, she brought the baby up to her breastand sat in the rocking chair.

Tucking the blanket around her more securely, Natasha considered the agitated little girl. She could go get Clint – he would surely sing that songand put Kate right back to sleep – but he was sleeping peacefully. No, this was a task she could accomplish on her own. Nat didn’t know Clint’s song, so she would just have to use her own.

Quietly, she began to sing Казачья колыбельная песня (Cossacks Lullaby), the Russian words swept away by the resounding silence. She could tell that Katie took comfort in the language, the pleasant sounds from Natasha’s homeland slowly washing over her until she was no longer crying. A few more minutes of rocking and some lines of the song and Kate was asleep. Natasha concluded the song, the music trailing off as she gently lowered the sleeping babe into the crib. Returning to her own bed, she was surprised to see Clint stirring. Normally he would rush to his daughter if she could be heard in the night. She put the gun back in her nightstand and climbed under the covers, snuggling in as he pulled her closer.

“She okay?” he murmured, half asleep.

“Yes.” Natasha felt a gentle smile on her face, one she was glad no one could see. “She’s fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are going to be apporaching the final chapters (at least I will be writing them) so any last prompts or ideas for this fic are welcome..


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